Believe your brilliant

Because you don't believe me when I say it.

Think you're perfect,
Because you won't believe it when I say it.

Think you're magnificent,
Because you can't believe I think it.

Think you're the best thing that's ever happened to me,
Because you may be.
And while that may be hard for you to believe,
I've only lived for so long,
And you make me so, incredibly, happy.

All your words will soon desert you

When everything I see reminds me of the shape of you,
I know that I'd stay with you.
I know that I want to say to you.
Confirming in my mind what I know to be true,
I know for sure, that I'm in love with you.

What would you say?
What would you do?

This is a definite sign of what we could be someday,
Playing in the park,
It will all be clear on a seesaw or a bridge,
Can you hear that rumbling sound in the distance?
We'd better run inside,
There is no time to be wasting any time,
Where do we go from here,
Unsure of what there is to say.

Maybe actions do speak louder than words-

Your hands in mine

I think the Beatles had it right.
That everything would be worth the fights,
Every little thing,
One single moment when I can touch you,
Is what life's living for,
I just want to hold your hand.

If I had to choose between blindness or stupidity,
I would be at a loss.
Because if I couldn't see your beauty then I would have shot myself in the foot.
And if I was so ignorant that I could not appreciate your beauty,
What a hopeless fool I would be.

You have stolen all my senses,
There are no defenses left for me to deny.

To take no pride in moving against the tide

Not water,
But people,
The waves of faces,
The sea of emotions,
Crammed into one lifetime.

And when we're running
We're too busy to look back,
But once we've stopped,
We turn around with heavy hearts,
Breathing as hard as our hearts pound,
Wanting to get out,
Further away,
But inside of us all the same.

Detours, and reading maps in the dark

My tired eyes are shut
And I can see without a doubt that
I can't take it anymore.
Whether we can,
I don't know.

These dreams I have,
Asleep in this city,
Even when the sun wakes up,
I open my eyes and light my candles,
To see in the dark.

Times will change like the seasons,
These candles will burn long before that,
But you and I will last.

I found my light,
And although we can't find each other to talk much anymore,
I walk north.
Not to isolate myself further,
But because now you know how to get there too;
And now you'll know where to find me.

Sing a song with me

Because lying here is lonely,
And your thoughts are unheard of,
In the dead sea of white noise,
Interrupting my brainwaves constantly.

Labelled as a lyric,
Read like a verse,
Sung like a hymn,
I am not a storybook.

But yet you find me so predictable,
Readable,
Mouldable,
I am disappointed with my inability to be refreshing and fun.

Perhaps that's why I always sing the same old songs,
Because it's the simple things which make me smile,
Like seeing you smile,
Or hearing you stifle a song.

Holding out,

All on the line,
Stripped and battered,
Compensating for trying to hide,
Night-blind with the lights on,

If anything ever actually goes as you planned,
You can run and retrace your steps,
But otherwise it's a flop.

And in an instant you know,
That probably this was all your fault,
Please stand strong,
It could always be worse.

How many times I say that seeming ndescending,
But trust me when I tell myself that more than anyone else.

Where were you?

Its hard and weird not to know how your day begins,
I can't imagine lying here with anyone but you.

When with you I feel like nothing in this world
But you can shake my bones,
Then you tell me I'm just a part of yours
And that you're already in his world,
Twisting more knots in my heart.

I'm not in control,
But don't my screams move you,
Or will it remain that everyone knows but you.

I've got the most to lose,
Especially if I can't be myself and keep you too-

Give me a moment to recalibrate,
I don't think I'd ever be enough,
But I'm praying for your freedom cause your mind seems imprisoned.

If you pressured then I'm on the same page,
And I need a minute to hold your hand,
To tell you the truth,
That I feel more alive when I'm with you;
Thank you for making me who I am when I'm with you, I never could have been this without you.

New content

It's not a try-and-buy,
It's a leap of faith.
Or maybe more of a hop.

You don't know how much it will cost you,
You know it won't be cheap.
But you've got a credit card.

The price of admission may be a little steep,
The thrill might not be worth it.
And now you've got to try it.

But now you have it.
And unlike the things you threw away before,
This one you want to keep.
It's everything you ever wanted and more.

Creatures in the night

Mysterious enigma,
The root of our deepest fears,
Planting the seed of imagination,
That's what scares us.

Because we like to be certain,
Even though I am nothing without imagination,
I wish my thoughts would live without me;
The woman my thoughts were about are hiding from me,
Because of the fear that it brought me.

And I still keep my baby thoughts beside me,
Like the nightstand I sleep beside,
Like my mother's jewelry.
Because although neither are here anymore,
They remind me of who I was and I have to keep up with that.

Whether I get cold feet,
Or in my old age forget my own name,
These events are destined to be things I want to give everything to,
No matter how superficial the things,
Or significant, like my mother's death.

I am just a civilian,
A walker of flat plains,
But with that comes mystery,
Because I ultimately make the decisions of what I will take and what I will let pass,
Since I am the creator of my own destiny.

So when the future looks dark and scary,
Like the creatures in the night of my imagination,
I stand vigilant,
Like a postcard;
And image, not a living memory,
I am unshakable.

And when the hammer falls

We get caught under.
Not completely squished,
But not completely avoided either,
Leaving something like a pinky toe behind to get crushed under the weight of this unstoppable force.

And this pains us.
Because we aren't immune to hurt,
We are squishy,
With warm insides,
And cold outsides,
To protect us from broken hearts;
And if we can distance us from getting close to others,
Maybe we can avoid the broken bones as well,
But then we find ourselves alone.

And I miss the company of others.

There's a rule that I have to follow

Even in our sleep, pain which we cannot even begin to describe,
falls drop by drop upon the hearts of our friends and lovers,
until in our own despair,
we crumble,
and our shame taints the core of our human being.

But.
With love,
Compassion,
and Wisdom for one another,
the feeling of justice and peace guaranteed prevails,
lasting forever,
deep within the hearts of those who believed.

Because for endless days we left the lights on in our houses,
afraid of the things that go bump in the dark,
but more afraid of the things which may lurk in our own homes,
and although you already know that what you see isn't always what you get,
You've gone.
You're gone.
So throw me out to play in the rain,
In the devil's playground,
Because I'm still reminded regardless how much the simplest things like this would have made you smile.

A creeping night

Trapped by my phobias,
Possessed by anxiety,
Seeing doubt portrayed as entities,
Falling short of goals and priorities.

I have my mother's dreams,
I have my father's eyes,
No night can take that away from me,
You can try-

Help is always close,
On the way,
Just one call in front of you,
One step behind me.

I'm singing myself a soothing lullaby,
Alone in this dark night,
Does anyone care?
Nobody to hold my hand,
But also nobody to see,
How much it hurts when I close my eyes and
See the same burn as when you walked in the room for the first time.

I still remember that first night we met,
Can you sit through these tears?
You prefer fact to magic,
Said you had to leave these talks for work,
I stayed waiting,
Anticipating and pacing,
But that was the last I'd heard.

Maybe I didn't write these words to be heard,
I just needed to go out at night to know that I tried,
And I'd spend it dancing all night,
If all you were looking for was a laugh.

My expense is the cost of admission,
So take me away and let's start another fire tonight,
So that I may sit one step closer to you,
Trying to keep you warm and keep the fire alive at the same time.
Because we wouldn't have to leave this campsite if you didn't want to,
But you'll get sick of here one day, just like you're sick of home.

Has the seed of possibility been planted?

Should he wither,
Or should he die,
That's his choice.
And only time will tell.

Is he in a lot of pain?
Because you never asked,
I'll tell you.

He is.

And when that phone of yours rings in your pocket,
Should you take it?
Or should you put it on hold and continue to plaster that fake smile all over your face?
Only you can make the decision,
And you will have to live with the consequences.

But the millions of people stuck in their lives,
Stuck in routines,
No form of struggle is routine anymore,
We're in a state of chaos.

Nobody knows how to express themselves anymore,
And I'm another clone.

If you're ever hurt or scared

Then come and find me.

She said.

And when she left, I was mad at her for lying.

But now that she's gone I remember what she told me.

And when I feel lost or scared, I go to her.

Because there's one place I can always find her.

Her grave.

Mother.

Three steps sideways, one step back

You never come back to where you started,
You're always a little bit back.
Sure you learned a thing or two,
But what time you spent learning, you now find yourself displaced sideways.

Much like the weather,
We can't predict the future,
But because we can hope, We can be sure that we change the unwritten future as well.

When we pray for those who we want to stay with us, Even if you'd be ashamed to hear that they found out, Or when we wish that we could be with someone, And cross our hearts that we'd never let them find out, What's the difference? Sitting alone here, or sitting alone here with you, Finally ready to go from here, Am I leaving, running? No. Because I'll be back whether you know it or not. Because this will happen again whether I like it or not. And because I'm thinking of you, no matter what.

Eh, she said.

Because nothing more worthwhile was worth saying.
And in that very moment,
He was content with just looking.
But then of course somebody had to ask what he was looking at,
And he replied with nothing.

The lesson of the story is unforgettable,
Unknowable,
And unmistakable.
That he shouldn't have given into temptation,
And instead should have lied about his emotions,
To not only himself but to you,
Is what was asked of him.
And he did not comply.

If we fell to our knees every time we turned around and walked away from our problems,
The only thing left in our lives would be guilt,
Not epiphany.
And I don't think you'll ever see the same blue I see,
Especially since my eyes are always locked on you when you're looking up at the stars.

I talk too much

It's probably my way of breaking up the silence
Which fills up my heart.

Cause I have too much time
To collect and discover my own flaws
But that's for me to ponder, hopefully for you to accept.

Without my ability to talk,
I'm left with the sight and touch which forever leaves me longing,
Unable to express appreciation,
Even after everything I love is taken away from me.

And when I realize that something's gotten a hold of my heart,
In a way I did not intend,
I hide away in a corner.
Maybe you'll find me,
Hopefully soon,
Or I'll sit here on top of the world,
Invisible.

Really, delicate. Really, unfortunate. Really, ungrateful.

Because I never gave it a second thought,
It's my fault?

That I told you how I felt but being turned down,
Then being shamed for not telling you what was on my mind,
Was all my fault?

How foolish of me,
To think that faults and fingers could be pushed around,
Cause the only thing being pushed around is me.

And when words are abused,
It leaves our hearts with answered questions and nothing but doubt,
But yeah,
That's also my fault.

Moving in front of me like a sea of disaster

In which I have no paddle,

Unable to avoid,

Getting ready to hold my breath,

About to take the plunge.

Because I'm confident that I know how to swim,

I learned when I was young,

And like when I was little,

My father taught me lessons on how to live life.

How to be a better human,

By being honest,

And a little modest,

To care for everything, big or small.

But he never taught me to love another human being,

He said it would be natural,

That it would come to me like she would,

And that my life would be fulfilled.

Yet as long as I have lived,

I do not imagine myself falling in love,

Because I'm not a good human being,

And my father's lessons seem wasted as he is ashamed at my attempts at love.

I'm not a good human being,

From everything you have been seeing,

I have given you no reason to show interest,

But I guess, I digress-

I've hoped that avoiding you would help me,

Like most of my problems I run from to avoid,

Except that I can't stop thinking about you,

And it reminds me that I don't want to give up,

  Not if there's something worthwhile to fight for,

  What else would there be that I keep thinking about?

Cause I've forgotten how to say

That I miss you.

That ill return despite your lies and mischief,

That the leak in your concrete persona gives away how you feel about me but

That I'd never tell you how much I love you,

That there's nothing I could say to make you feel the same way.

Something far from what you've said

Is apart from another day,
And maybe someday I'll be somewhere,
Talking as if you knew me,
Only if you could trust what it is you'd hear,
You'll remember that I said I'd be here for you,
Even if you don't think of me, I would think of you,
And saying that I wish we were here,
In arms reach,
Not so far away,
Like it's become,
Because next time it happens, if it continues this way,
I'll scream with my lungs for my heart who remains silent,
But aching like the feet of mine, who would traverse this earth to escape a house falling apart,
To hopefully save you from yours,
And if you find yourself in a ghost town,
At least I would be there to try and make it feel more alive,
Bringing out the sun to warm your cold hands,
Since you refuse to hold them in mine anymore, even if it means you're slowly freezing,
It seems you've forgotten what I said,
And instead you feel the need to belong in a place that doesn't want you,
Hiding from the faces who spew hurtful words to defile you,
But you treat them with a kind heart and plenty of smiles,
Because you like the games, the heartache,
Plenty of mistakes on my end, but you're not free from blame,
You created this prison,
So it's a part of you,
Even if you're not the one in it.

To be beautiful

is there something stopping me from ever having the chance to see it?

Does someone have it out for me,

that I may never have the opportunity to experience beauty.

Would it require a timid soul?

Or could I be the bold hero in a city full of criminal souls,

Looking to find peace & comfort in knowing

that a coward like me could have ever been mistaken as

                                                                                      Brave.

Ever doubtful,

However beautiful you may be,

because I am me,

that this would ever be possible.

My thoughts are like a fan caught in the wind

Once it gets going it spins and it spins,
But which way does it face?

Does it slow me down,
Or does it keep on pushing me further,
When all I want is to slow to a stop-

Words with which I hope to prove

That what I know is true.
But what a way it must be,
To complete this story.
To complete the way

That you so quietly misunderstand yourself,
I think if I had time to address the current issue,
I would say,
The downtime is necessary.

But remember that I know,
Remember that we weathered that storm together,
Without an umbrella,
You took my hand.

And while searching for better places,
I found that we could just sit on the ground,
Because you'll take me home,
I'll keep you warm.

There wasn't much choice in how I conquered adversity,
Especially since it was all imagined in my head.
Maybe I shouldn't expect too much,
Because you don't want me to.

Tomorrow's a brand new day,
Clear skies, I pray.
And if it rains,
Then throw me away, grab an umbrella.