Some day we will Fly across the Painted Sky

Some day in blazing fury, we will fly across the painted sky
and we will find tomorrow.
Sitting innocent under the blood-stained sun,
we will watch and absorb the hatred that has followed us for a century.
Seeping through the weight of a lifetime, misery and truth,
we will learn what it means to lose everything.

And without the ones we love,
without the things we need,
could we be happy?
Or would it just be one big Holiday?

No matter, really,
the presence of your presents will keep me company.
And I will see a beautiful sunset,
one which we can hold our hands at-
one which our hearts will remember forever.
And we will stay there, talking about the things that never last.

Then because you are near, I will see clearly.
Burned so hot from the rising sun my eyes will glaze as glass,
I'll see past everything immaterial, and the sun will be my mirror.
I will look back at us standing there,
and my hand in yours will keep you warm.
... Only if you'd have me.

But if my glass eyes are too ugly for your sight,
plastic hips too frail for your exuberant youth,
or my thin fingers too unsightful for your beautiful hand,
then I will leave you. And you won't have to send me away.
But I can't say I won't love you anymore.

Because my blind eyes will paint you a beautiful skyline,
my disabled hips will carry you miles,
and those skeletal fingers will bear a ring under your name.
Till death do us part, they said.
And we disagreed on our definitions of death.
You killed our relationship and left me,
But as long as I still have breath I'll find strength from within me.
I'm that crazy for you.

Every opportunity once in a Lifetime

Today is the day that I sold my life away,

took every penny I dropped and told it to stay,

I had not a single care, not a single worry,

but the insignificant details really built up a story,

I was the control group of a mediocre experiment,

ruled and governed by no one in particular,

it is a fate, a destiny, a life of ruin,

I am the one who lost all purpose.

We took steps to ensure our safety,

we justified loss with reason,

we never mistook passion as logical thinking-

we were in  love.

Instead we fell stories and stooped low on branches,

we hung upside down in each other's arms and stood upon each other's shoulders,

we climbed cliffs and crumbled mountains,

we were the hidden valleys of happiness.

No longer did we stand upon the shoulders of giants,

we grew trees that portrayed our legacies.

The mistake was thinking we had made something of ourselves,

for we were nobody special,

we were lost causes with hopes and dreams,

ready to crumble at the slightest pressure.

You were my iron cross,

my maiden, my beacon,

But it all fell down when the roof gave way below our feet.

And we fell down, down, down.

Into the blackness of our revered past, 

Taking shadow as light and learning to see in the dark,

We became blind to our mistakes and our misfortunes,

we learned to love that which we did not have.

But not you, only me.

There was no we,

for I was something you did not mention,

Instead it was me mentioning you.

I loved you.

And while I held you up, you reached for greatness.

But when I was falling down you did not hold out your hand.

And that's how you lost me.

Or maybe you just gave me up for something better.

You had moved on to a higher ground, and I was bleeding from my open wounds.

They called it love.

I called it a beautiful malice. 

... Or at least that's what I call her.

Not particularly well-versed

You smiled at me and you really eased the pain,
But now every time you do I kind of just want to run away.

I was taught to never give up,
to hold onto family, friends, and love,
but these holes puncture my paper heart like cutting with a razer blade,
Full of anxiety and something as simple as itself.

I've run into barbed wire pulling me back from the waves of unending pain,
You've got the chain that shackles through dark cloud and drains away everything but grey.

We stood then upon the top of an oblivion but
you took the back route to a world without rule and reason.
I am here, waiting for you, to climb back up and enjoy the view.

Too little too late,
I never really told you.
But it didn't matter, did it? That a name is just a name and a title is just a title,
we thought living our lives was more important than the perceptions of others.

Yet you let me go,
without a real chance to begin with-
A little piece into the storm of a drug filled world where depression sells itself off the shelf.

And you don't really want me back, do you?
It is why you ignore me, no?
I am just another memory tossed into the wind,
like the empty cowards you once faced,
you've chiseled me another scar inside of me leaving me a lot of room to grow.

So you are now alone,
go take it away and stop pushing me away,
because I'll walk alone and you don't have to lead me,
I have two feet which you just so happened to have left me,
I can walk away, but I'd rather run;
it was a choice to stay, not something I'd do regardless of the pain:
And now the inspiration really drains from my soul,
it's the realization that has come and hit me here at home,
it's the simple phrase that says so much, yeah;

// We Are All Alone.

Confined by the wills of our Oppressors

We are taught never to give up,

treating the world as a playing field for our hopes and dreams,

trading them like pokemon cards to the best bidder.

We are given hope in the form of everlasting friendship

but only after we've sold our souls to the ones we love,

do we fall into the hands of malice and jealousy.

We are sold like candles in a wax factory,

molded the same and sculpted with purpose,

and only after we have matured, are we sold to work for others.

We are the living dead in a barren wasteland,

finding shelter in the trenches of dead desire.

-And then it is all taken away.

We are punished by people who think they're doing us good,

who think a lesson is being learned.

And it is all for naught.

Dreams crushed like the butts of cigarettes under the boots of those who wish to do us no harm.

Confined by the wills of our oppressors,

we are forced to break bonds that should never be broken,

and friendships are lost to the dark voids of our once beating hearts.

The tears that we shed are the streams of our regret,

clearing away the ash and soot of our blackened memories.

And how we hate with vindictive fury,

the spoils of our passion.

We wish the world was set back to stone,

where simple was all that we had known.

At least that's what I wish sometimes,

when in my life there is nothing left but blackness.

What an inspiration

This blug has taught me one thing, really.

It can be cool to do something you enjoy doing, and you can find people who think you're cool for it too.

I wonder if poetry is a profitable road to go down... but I'd better not get my hopes up.

Instead, I'll spend the days writing and writing for some very beautiful people, in the hopes that they might think I'm cool like they are.

Basement writer - Up up and away! *Dons handcrafted costume*

You are the Melody

My concrete heart is breathing,
shadows spread their wings,
here to rescue you.

Stay alive,
And I will follow.

Cause Fire will all come racing through,
cover up with the smile that hurts you;
Let's just burn and they'll grace both me and You.

Stay alive,
So I can apologize.

The winds of fate that drew our first breaths,
altered the bridge upon which we stood,
Pulling is deeper into the staircase of our broken memories.

Stay alive,
So that I won't have to go.

Tonight I'm longing for daylight

Wondering if you were ever coming around,
I stood by myself on hallowed ground.

My hope was fading as the moon faded to black,
It was too late in the night for me to go back.

Things were set in stone and left to waste,
my dreams so dearly misplaced.

Looking for every beautiful thing we could see,
wondering why some things just could not be.

Tonight I'm longing for daylight,
waiting for moonshine to give me sight.

The wasted while that is engraved in gold

I don't spend too much crying over spilled milk,
but the things that I've once done spread tears to my heart.

This is cold,
this is painful.

I done goofed,
I made a mistake.
Abort.

Look at why we burn

is it just for fun?

Do the stars collide so that we may notice,
or so that the world may fall apart?

Standing tall on a bridge above nowhere,
this ladder takes me places I never expected.

The friendly sound of laughter,
is nothing but noise to my ears.

So I say Cheers,
as we say goodbye-
This is the end, as they say it,
Today we all die .

Thoughts on people

The things they say, they way they react,
the way that people treat you.

It all changes when they find out one little thing about you.
Suddenly you're an outcast.
Now they can't talk to you,
Now they can't respect you.

What did you do but reveal that there is something about you?
That you didn't care what they thought, and you thought they wouldn't care?
Instead you're shunned,
Treated as a lesser equal,
and told many times over that what you are doing is wrong.

I do not care,
I am my own person.

So treat me however you want,
I now know that the people who look at you differently are the fools.
I know the people who don't understand you're still the same person,
they are the ones who won't enjoy life's little things.

If they won't enjoy my company anymore,
I do not force it upon them,
but I expect them to still respect me as the same person I was.

I am no longer an innocent.
I am no longer the sheltered.
I have some knowledge now, to understanding what makes a person cool.
Not by what they do,
but by how they treat a friend differently after one thing that you did not even force upon them.

Let's fuck the world, so we may host another party.
Who is the one who would say otherwise?

This road we walk down

Is a ladder up to where we belong.
Do we climb or do we fall?

Do we let our insides twist and knot the string of fate,
Is the chord muffled and unclear-

I'm no longer sure what road it is I walk down.

But now I must decide.
The paths diverge,
the way ahead of me is clear,
I can choose to move on with my life,
or I can choose to stay here.

I want to pick her,
but I don't want to get hurt.

My mind wants to run away,
but my heart tells me to stay.

I've got the reigns of fate in my hands and I am the one who is deciding,
and she doesn't even know how much that grip is sliding,
away from what I know to be safe, to something dangerous and alluring,
I think this is one way to help pass the time.

I don't know if I believe in destiny,
but there truly is a divine evil.
That laughs at my inconsistency,
who chooses what I ought to be.

No more.
I have walked down this road before,
and now I've stopped to ask directions.
Will she be my guide,
or will she be the one who takes me somewhere even better?
Either way,
I'm driving nowhere.

Watch

Watch the hours of your life tick away,
Watch your loved ones remind you that there is still good people out there in this world.
Watch the little things make you smile once more.

It's a watch from a long forgotten loved one, in a country far away.
In a different world, he stays,

but across the sea our memories remain,
I'll wear this watch every single day.

http://www.romanson.com/

Thank You.

Lose the Disguise

Release me from your spell.

I haven't a clue what I'll do, but I know I will be safe,
for I no longer reside in the kingdom of death and boredom.

The bricks that lay before me crack and crumble,
but my honour remains noble and my guilt remains  nonexistent.

For I have done what I needed to do,
I led the horses to water and left them there.

In ten years time I won't regret the things I've done,
but I will long for the things that I haven't-
I will lay somber in the sun for all the opportunities missed.

When the sun sets on the blackness of my heart,
I will show you the warmth of my love and my passion.

You're never going to wake up from your life of doing nothing

Are you sorry you never got to say hello?

Or do you regret saying goodbye?

No choice is made without second thought,

no chance to take back what had been done.

We uncover the lies that we tell ourselves in the dark of the night,

peeling away the flesh that hides our souls.

I've got a skeleton inside my body,

A ghost of who I used to be.

Oh no, we were lovers,

Oh no, you were my friend.

You showed me no pity,

even at the end-

I do not regret anything.

Something I missed doing, because I was busy doing nothing.

Followed a friend on tumblr;

Turns out it's kinda cool.

But still not for me.

And I found good music,

something I can listen to, when I need to escape from reality.

I still can't tell her I like her,

but when has it ever been easy?

I suppose I'm trying too hard,

I should just play the hand I'm dealt.

Life is nothing but a screenplay,

and I am the lines given to me in my script.

I am the chalice into which you pour out your soul,

the lyric that gets left behind on the empty page.

Forget I said anything,

For you clearly do not care-

    I'm sorry I even liked you.

Let us fly like fools on a mountaintop,

Let us dream the wishes that our hearts desire.

My life is the missing puzzle piece.

This simple thing.

We're living everyday with not a thought in the world.

Not wondering what we do not know,

because of how afraid that would make us.

We stare across the sea of thoughts,
looking into our hearts,
wanting to see each other cry.

Our happiness is just an illusion caused by the world,
giving the impression of free thought, and free will.
We all realize one day, that the world doesn't spin,
we learn that when we die, we learn that when we finally stop running around in circles.

I never considered the little things in life,
because you never cared for my ideas, and you were my wife.

I wanted my life to have a happy ending,
and instead I learned to cherish every moment,
because death comes so suddenly,
because sometimes you just want to die.

The drinks help you swallow the lies,
the ones they feed to kill you inside.
Your tears are measured in days, not weeks,
in hours, not days,
because when you cry you grow young again-
You see the world as a big open space,
somewhere you'll never see your place in.

If I stood at the top and fell to the bottom,
who would catch me there?
Would he have a bottle filled with my favourite tunes,
would she sing me a happy song?
Pouring out wisdom, not strength,
would she carry me back to the top,
would he give me extend his broken arm?

I am not a man of wise words.
I haven't spent enough time in darkness to see the light,
but I have eaten the fruit of wisdom,
so now I understand how the world is full of blight.

If I forget the little things,
the little people,
who am I?

I'll be gone,
You'll be away,
We'll be stuck far from each other,
Simply wasting away.

Two seas stretch as far as an ocean,
It's all the same when
a boat has four seats.
Who do you take with you on your journey?
Do you decide on your deathbed?

A moan is a sign of weakness,
a cry is a shout for help-
A thought is nothing but an act of defiance,
and my heart is nothing but a broken dream.

What's a genius without his idea,
what more can you take away;
aren't we all just people,
waiting for that one day?...
... when the little things no longer matter,
and every man is equal.

Until then we'll all stand by,
crossing our fingers, watching the sky,
looking down at the earth and wondering why,
nobody understands us deep down inside.

Draft

We're living the everyday with not a thought in the World .

Some things I never said.

I want to die.

I want you to take it all from me,
to take me away from the pain and misery.

You see,
Nobody cares, like they should.
Nobody understands that some people don't want to live.

That I awoke to a beautiful day and saw no joy in the sunrise,
that I could not smile at this true beauty... was I not determined to die?

Take me away,
lead me from this suffering-
I want to be saved from this wasteland.
My life is nothing but a prison sentence,
chains that are shackled to nothing but the weight of the world.

That friend who understood my sacrifice,
who knew me from the start.
Why are you so cold,
why don't you understand my now blackened heart?

And you,
fuck you.
I trusted you,
I listened.
But I was right;
everybody only looks out for number one, right?

Give me a gun, and I will use it.
Give me a blade, and I will end it.

I want to die.

Youth fading.

These days, this time, I feel nothing.

I've cried inside, I'm numb to everything.

I wake up feeling no enthusiasm,
I go to sleep wishing I would not wake up.

There is no cure for my disease,
not drinking, smoking, or singing a sad song.
The problem is life.

I've grown tired of trying to fight something unfair,
The world is how it is, and I am the problem.
It cannot be changed, and I will not conform to it.
I refuse to wear a smile and live each waking hour,
when every second I die a little more inside.

I am starting to feel cold,
I don't think I'd need to kill myself even if I wanted to;
I might not see the next sunrise.

Every once in a while...

We slow down and see how the world spins round.

You don't understand that I'm done with it,
I've moved on, you were the beat my heart skipped.

I gave up trying to impress you,
and you still think I'm going to come back for you in the rain.

Go grab your own umbrella,
Pull on your own sleeve when you fall,
My shadow is my own and you can follow someone else.

I was taught to never give up,
but you rattled my cage and left my morals blowing in the wind;
Grab hold of your self and fight for yourself.

Now I love her, not you,
The past won't keep me warm,
so I won't look back-
     You are not alone.
     I Just Don't care.

-2011/10/17

Stealing Sleep

Why do I wake myself up early on Saturdays?


Edit: Because I like to play StarCraft.

Your post, not mine

My mistakes, over time,

do you ever feel the blame is all mine?

I should approach things right,

I never know how effective this must be-

The trials ruin me from the inside out,

I'm rotting and my feet are cold. I can't feel it anymore.

Where was the signal that this was the end?

You're gone now,

Erased from my mind.

Here we stand,

here we sing,

blowing in the wind.

The sensation that you're screaming but you never make a Sound

My heart is questioning, who is she?
My mind is saying, "Why let go?..."
The words I thought, the world will never know,
so why am I trying so hard to go-

The sky is getting Dark.

I'm trying to find Me
but I missed the last train going to nowhere-

As the sky gets dark and the thunder blares
I'm not scared; But I knew it always frightened You.

Why am I so bothered that I did what I had to do?
Wasn't that always my motto?
.. Or did you change Me ?

Catching Up

My past mistakes are catching up with me,
I've nowhere else to run.

Perhaps I should have known this was coming,
I suppose I've had my fun.

The chances of me avoiding this are actually really slim,
looks like I'll just have to tough it out and fill all of the little blanks in.

This Day

Each and every day I grow older.

As the years pass, I feel older.

How do I know?

I have less energy,

I gain more responsibility,

I'm allowed to have less fun.

I wish I were a kid again.

Black Out

Power outage.
Darkness.
Candle light.

...

A flash.
A beep.
A second Chance!

Waking Up

Every day feels like drowning.

Opening my eyes is like trying to see through chlorine filled water.

Dreams are relaxing, just like a nice warm shower.

Waking up is an awful lot like swimming.