Find me a place where the wind never blows.

so I may be alone to my thoughts under the trees,
ill never love you again.

when I met you,
you were the only song I'd ever wanted to sing,
now I can't see any other place I'd want to be.

and left here,
in this crowded city...

I want to know how I've deserved this.

Don't bargain when you're weak

Stubbornly you're waiting for me,
but you've made a mistake.

Because I'm not coming for you,
The chariot does not come to the white knight,
I have not yet crossed the mountain before you,
and soon it will be dawn.

I'm not your vindication,
I'm the crack in your voice,
The soft, unending suffering.

But You.
You're my one and only.
If I try to forget you,
I just miss you more.
And since we've parted ways,
it was probably my fault. I see that.

Stubbornly, I'm waiting though.
Waiting for You.
And this is no mistake.

Because I see clearly now,
through enigmatic clouds and forshadowed suffering;
You're my one and only.
Why can't I replace you,
more and more I'm finding the will to try-
..maybe I was wrong?
..maybe I felt weak.

No.
While it's nice to know,

  where you will be,
  who you will talk to,
  what you'll be thinking, saying,

It's no longer my concern.
So thank you.
And may my hat come off to you.

I think I loved you at one point or another.

Grey Matter

I am a self-destructive concoction, volatile and futile.
Inside of me is a dark, evitative spool.

Drawn with pen,
Struck with emotion,
I am choking on tears I never knew I had.

And I don't want to live on this Earth anymore,
I don't want to die with people like this.

Instead-
Take me to the moon,
so that I can die at peace,
suffocating in the vacuum of space.
Silently, Peacefully, with purpose and conviction. That is how I want to die.

I want to die suffering,
but through the suffering of my own choosing,
not in a world, where I may be associated wrongly with such filth as this.

It's gotten bad again.

And you don't even know the half of it.

I don't understand why but it is impossible for me

to get past the hurt.

Do you think I haven't tried

avoiding this misfortune? Or that

We asked for this pain...

There is no 'we' anymore, only me.

And I'm sad.

Upset, Lonely.

What do you want from me?

Pain? You can have that.

I don't want it anymore,

I have too much of it.

Not like I used to,

but like I wanted to.

There is nothing that I want

more than to go to the past and relive it all

differently- so that the person I am now would not be me.

     You are a mistake and we

     don't love you anymore.

          Where is our fear

          but in our hearts?

What faith should I have left

but that in the hearts

of those men, braver

so than me.

See now,

Nothing.

Because there is no faith.

There are no good men.

&

You should expect nothing from me.