Drawing upon a breath which fades into grey, seeing something so clear being washed away.

The piano keys repeat, the hands on the clock tick and move,

but nothing ever changes,

it's the same thing over and over.

Repeating.

Repeating what is good, what is enlightening,

treating you like someone who needs reminding,

because they don't think you're good enough.

I wish I saw what was good in me, like you did;

Maybe then I wouldn't be so unhappy?

Instead I'm sad,

that someone like you likes me,

I feel like i've tricked you,

I feel like you're going to be sorry.

This is my life, repeating.

Through washed up waves and

falling down broken balconies,

I've died over and over.

Were they not dreams,

but reality?
I saw what it was like to lose loved ones,

merely pages in a book-

But I wished they were more,

so that I could learn to love like I didn't before.

And instead I just asked for the same miserable existence...

... repeating.

To think even farther, beyond beauty

And to swim,
I learned to dream,
I learned to drown.

When i fell down,
Did you keep talking to me through the darkness,
To make sure i was alright?

I knew where we were going.
Without a destination,
I would have let go.

But now im free to tell you all,
Every moment spent longing for the perfect kiss,
Listening to the perfect song,
Do you think ill be alright?

Leave me, then.

But if unlike what i think,
If your answer is no,
Then stay by my side and tell me everything will be okay.
Ill believe you,
You dont have to tell me how.

Why do people care about me

I asked my friend, she is so beautiful, which is why I cannot understand how this answer came from her.
From her when I asked, who is she:

--------------
I am floating on an iceberg in the middle of the arctic and i'm wearing a pair of jeans and a parka.
I am sitting on this iceberg with my knees tucked under my chest and my arms wrapped around my shins.
And i am looking at the sky-
... I am crying.

And I am crying, because,
I am more alone than I have ever been in my entire life,
but I don't feel lonely at all.

Because, even in the frozen wasteland,
I am still part of the world.
That I can still feel lucky to be a part of it.

Dreams are poetic inspiration

You can't be real,
you're everything perfect.
If all my friends are flora and you are a manifestation of all that is good-

I know now why you don't exist.
Everything about you cannot be something,
because you are so impractical and this is what makes you beautiful.

So instead I'll still dream of you.

She's so beautiful until you realize that

in the blink of an eye all of this can be gone from me.

That you appreciate her until you realize

she isn't going to be there forever.

-That she is perfect in every way,

until she can break your heart,

and that your best friend was the one standing in your way.

... How could she do that to you?

Then you understand,

that it was for once not you,

but me.

That I had been untrue to my beliefs,

trying to make you happy,

trying to make you stay,

when all you really wanted was to go far, far, away.

That's why you marry someone,

because she won't leave you when things turn down,

she won't turn around and abandon this,

for this is everything you had hoped would make you happy.

A relationship unlike any other.

Taking the time to catch up on a broken trail

We're taken away by what doesn't last and told so many times that we'd been going too fast,

for had I not seen what were coming toward me,

maybe I'd have moved out of the way-

I dont think you realize that it's better this way.

To blah and bohl,
is to babble.
To treat death the same way we do life,
is dishonourable.
I think perhaps we think too much about the past and give no credit to the future.

Because you are beautiful,
and you don't want to waste that on a dark misery like me.

My friend,
she is like my tulip.
My good friend too,
she is always upside down.
My third friend,
she is short, funny, and a little strange, but I enjoy her company.
My fourth friend, oh merry me,
she is the sun that never drops, she is happiness on the horizon.

I keep trying to spend so much time with the people I left behind,
because maybe, just maybe,
This can change their perception that they have of my mind,
and they won't see something so black or grey,
but maybe brighter and hopefully I can brighten their day.

Arrested by our handsome faces-

We have dreams about these girls  we know,

but when we woke up we realized that those dreams were true.

Now I'm not trying to cause any trouble but

to be that guy that I am around my friends and to be the guy who'll make her proud...

She's just your girl, not mine.

And I step back into line,

listening to what I should have said the first time;

the words sound better from out of your mouth,

instead of mine.

But when she's looking at you,

I see her glancing at me,

and instead she's dancing with you-

Is this what feels good to her now?

Or is it just because she's your girl?

I know she could have been mine,

had I not wished otherwise.

Since one of us,

had to be the better man,

I let it be you who won the lady,

does this make me a knight?

... For simply giving you your girl?

I should probably think higher of myself,

instead of wanting but not deserving,

because maybe she isn't your girl...

... but mine?

I think to be someone great would be fun

I don't know what you think while you're sleeping...
but I hope that soon I'll dream of you.


I do hope. I want to be with you.


Your heart's a house,
abandoned and reoccupied.
I wish it never hurt to tell you that I want you by my side.


I don't know what it feels like when you die...
I hope that soon I'll dream with you. To be taken away in a fake reality,
Fantasy.


Life's like a house,


    All that I asked for was a little bit of your heart,
    I gave you my love and you tore it apart.


I know your back... I always see you there.
The consequence of being fair-
Shying away doesn't let me live... I wish I could set things right,
Do you still stand out of the light?


Here and there... It seems unfair.
You seemed to be something,
that you think to me,
someone hard to forgive.


Were we not made to live?
Is it so hard to believe?
How much do I try to set things right.... I'll have you.

Love is that which enables choice

It gives you the freedom to be your own downfall,
to be the creator of worlds,
your own path or destiny.


I love her so.

I feel like I'm part of the resistance

I wish instead that I were a part of the release,
I want you to die so that I can be free.

I hadn't understood before what it meant to be happy,
now I do.
When they said that one couldn't exist without the other suffering an unjust truth,
I didn't think you meant me.
But now that I'm more understanding,
can't you set me free?
Give me the key,
and I will bury you.
Give me a candle and I will put you back in the darkness where you belong.

THIS, is suffering.
My screaming at the top of my lungs and you not hearing,
because you're too busy screaming your own obscenities in the middle of the night.
THIS is my guilt,
where I have to regret each morning not having killed you the night before.
And oh,
how easy it would have been.
To slit your throat or your wrist,
To slip a pill in your drink,
To watch you waste away and die right before my eyes.
I would kill you,
if not for the miserable defeat I would endure afterward,
at the hands of a masked swordsman;
unknowingly walking to my own death,
only to be freed for my good deed on the world.

This is a horrible mess,
and I wish I wasn't a part of it.