Moments spent in Heaven

Can't prepare us for what's next,
You don't see that I'm not ready for this;
Set me free and send me
far away from everything hurtful.
Tell me to go away from You.

We didn't fall down straight,
Did you know that?
Or was it a flight which never left the ground,
Your eyes closed to see the colours of my fear surrounding you-
This fuels the emptiness of your life. It's sadistic.
It's gross.
You're a fucking mess.

Then I stop.
.... and listen.
To myself,
To everyone around me.
This is a misery,
bound in chains labelled by distress and indescribable euphoria,
we love to see you cry.
But I just wish you loved me.

And so,
These wrists are slit like the scars that reside deeper than skin,
Tossing and turning like the waves of my mediocre existence,
Now you see me,
Now you don't.

Sucked away, drained,
This is what you deserve.
Can you ask for any less?
Sure you can. And you do.
"Change, Please."