Draft

We're living the everyday with not a thought in the World .

Some things I never said.

I want to die.

I want you to take it all from me,
to take me away from the pain and misery.

You see,
Nobody cares, like they should.
Nobody understands that some people don't want to live.

That I awoke to a beautiful day and saw no joy in the sunrise,
that I could not smile at this true beauty... was I not determined to die?

Take me away,
lead me from this suffering-
I want to be saved from this wasteland.
My life is nothing but a prison sentence,
chains that are shackled to nothing but the weight of the world.

That friend who understood my sacrifice,
who knew me from the start.
Why are you so cold,
why don't you understand my now blackened heart?

And you,
fuck you.
I trusted you,
I listened.
But I was right;
everybody only looks out for number one, right?

Give me a gun, and I will use it.
Give me a blade, and I will end it.

I want to die.

Youth fading.

These days, this time, I feel nothing.

I've cried inside, I'm numb to everything.

I wake up feeling no enthusiasm,
I go to sleep wishing I would not wake up.

There is no cure for my disease,
not drinking, smoking, or singing a sad song.
The problem is life.

I've grown tired of trying to fight something unfair,
The world is how it is, and I am the problem.
It cannot be changed, and I will not conform to it.
I refuse to wear a smile and live each waking hour,
when every second I die a little more inside.

I am starting to feel cold,
I don't think I'd need to kill myself even if I wanted to;
I might not see the next sunrise.

Every once in a while...

We slow down and see how the world spins round.

You don't understand that I'm done with it,
I've moved on, you were the beat my heart skipped.

I gave up trying to impress you,
and you still think I'm going to come back for you in the rain.

Go grab your own umbrella,
Pull on your own sleeve when you fall,
My shadow is my own and you can follow someone else.

I was taught to never give up,
but you rattled my cage and left my morals blowing in the wind;
Grab hold of your self and fight for yourself.

Now I love her, not you,
The past won't keep me warm,
so I won't look back-
     You are not alone.
     I Just Don't care.

-2011/10/17

Stealing Sleep

Why do I wake myself up early on Saturdays?


Edit: Because I like to play StarCraft.

Your post, not mine

My mistakes, over time,

do you ever feel the blame is all mine?

I should approach things right,

I never know how effective this must be-

The trials ruin me from the inside out,

I'm rotting and my feet are cold. I can't feel it anymore.

Where was the signal that this was the end?

You're gone now,

Erased from my mind.

Here we stand,

here we sing,

blowing in the wind.

The sensation that you're screaming but you never make a Sound

My heart is questioning, who is she?
My mind is saying, "Why let go?..."
The words I thought, the world will never know,
so why am I trying so hard to go-

The sky is getting Dark.

I'm trying to find Me
but I missed the last train going to nowhere-

As the sky gets dark and the thunder blares
I'm not scared; But I knew it always frightened You.

Why am I so bothered that I did what I had to do?
Wasn't that always my motto?
.. Or did you change Me ?

Catching Up

My past mistakes are catching up with me,
I've nowhere else to run.

Perhaps I should have known this was coming,
I suppose I've had my fun.

The chances of me avoiding this are actually really slim,
looks like I'll just have to tough it out and fill all of the little blanks in.

This Day

Each and every day I grow older.

As the years pass, I feel older.

How do I know?

I have less energy,

I gain more responsibility,

I'm allowed to have less fun.

I wish I were a kid again.