It's gotten bad again.

And you don't even know the half of it.

I don't understand why but it is impossible for me

to get past the hurt.

Do you think I haven't tried

avoiding this misfortune? Or that

We asked for this pain...

There is no 'we' anymore, only me.

And I'm sad.

Upset, Lonely.

What do you want from me?

Pain? You can have that.

I don't want it anymore,

I have too much of it.

Not like I used to,

but like I wanted to.

There is nothing that I want

more than to go to the past and relive it all

differently- so that the person I am now would not be me.

     You are a mistake and we

     don't love you anymore.

          Where is our fear

          but in our hearts?

What faith should I have left

but that in the hearts

of those men, braver

so than me.

See now,

Nothing.

Because there is no faith.

There are no good men.

&

You should expect nothing from me.