Nonpermanent Residence

Evidently irrelevant,

From the bottom of my aching soul,

I return home to a cold bed,

A place I left a long time ago.

A capsule of times,

Better left uncovered,

Undiscovered,

Like melted snow under our feet.

I can feel it slipping away.

Who's broken heart?

Challenger,

Destroyer,

Winner, but not really.

There is nowhere safe for someone with no friends,

And I'm afraid that's you.

You won the fight to keep everything,

Except the ones you love.

Those you left behind,

With the rest of your life,

Or at least the parts that really mean anything.

Seeing the sad side of any given situation

How long do I have to love you,

How long will it take for me to get over you,

I want to not be here, even though

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not following any plan,

But still you're moving too fast,

further away, so sure of what you're doing,

And I am watching from a safe distance, afraid of getting dragged along.

How wrong am I to love you?

Everything seems obvious, but I keep wanting you,

Even though everything says not to.

I'm stuck whether I try or not,

This is how it has to be.

Guilty with myself

The best I can do is live with myself,

It's not forgiveness,

Wasting away under the shadow of guilt,

Do I ever look at myself with unaltered eyes?

The years go on, days dragging away,

I'm not changing,

Making the same mistakes that eat at me,

I've never really learned to accept myself.

Coming home

My love is like a boomerang,

I've thrown it out a long time ago and I'm waiting for it to come back to me.

I can't sleep at night,

I'm missing an important part,

The better half of me.

But I'm tired,

So come back,

You've been on your adventures for too long,

I can't keep defending you while you're away.

You're not a child anymore,

No more birthday cake to celebrate getting old,

Soon I'll be old with nothing but my aching soul-

He sleeps alone tonight

In this house,

Empty,

He feels the upset faces staring down at him.

In his dreams,

Fulfilling,

He is filled with warmth.

On that bed,

Miserable at best,

When he awakes,

Feeling cold and invisible,

He never wants to wake up.

Philosophy is man expressing curiosity

Our experiences are me expressing my love for the world,

Trying to make sense of everything,

Trying to make sense of our love,

Understanding on a basic level,

Even if I appear to be unsure of everything all the time.

Burned flames should never reignite

So I keep you away,

To keep the nightmares out,

Take me away from this fear;

So afraid of being left alone with you.

It's not cowardice,

But strength,

My inability to be shook,

Understanding that you never wanted to play nice.

If love is a game,

You thought you were the victor,

And you played me as such.

But I quit, you can't have your victory anymore.

Wrong side of the sidewalk

Memories in moments,

Lives of regret,

Living in fear and doubt,

Unable to love one another,

Afraid of ourselves.

Umbrellas folded up,

Really just a precaution,

Unable to live a life carefree,

Because of "just in case".

I'm burning so bright,

And I'll burn half as long,

Unable to be there for you,

When you've finally stopped worrying about the little things.

No man better articulates

Is this love?

Or are we struggling to get away from another,

And did I tell you I loved you at the most inopportune moment-

I never had a choice,

You needed to know or else I'd drown.

I don't hate you,

Why do you act like so?

How do I get up after falling so low,

Do you have answers for the questions that I have?

I've never met you.

At least not this you,

Since you don't intend on saving me.