At any occassion I'd be ready for

You're sidestepping further downwards unto my shallow, weighted, misfortunes,
This is how much I care. Ill watch you burn as you waste,
And suffer as you sleep,
Let malice overtake you as if you drowned on air.
I wish your existence were so meaningless and painful,
That you wished upon your funeral.

That you wished for a time being less forgotten,
And if only you had repent.
Maybe.
Grown tired of feelings that are almost miserable,
But not quite,
They tried telling me it was love.
Beautiful.

Lastly, already

I make up for days of guilt and for being busy with nothing,
I miss having time for you,
And unspoken audience of nobody in particular.
Because im a disappointment,
Really.
But lastly, already,
You've forgiven me, no?
Because i haven't you.
I forgive you,
For hating me.

While you are sleeping my mind goes creaking

How about you stop with these games?
Im too tired of being used
Like a toy,
Like an object-
Apart from the feelings,
Really, i think ive had enough.
You're just another girl.

Im sick of your shit.
Let me be the bearer of bad news.
Because you're unbearable.

This is a lonely dance we move to

press your body against mine and sway to the tune,

move with me,

move out with me.

On parade to the world,

does it matter who cares-

Does it matter who knows?

I don't think so.

Because we're lonely beings,

isolated on a lonely rock,

floating through space.

And if the red wine spills...

who'll notice?

So take life's risks and be able to say you took chances,

because I would love to be part of the mystery in your life.

...If anything,

This is all just a carbon based existence.

... or don't pretend. This is a beautiful sight. Period.

Do you accept my offer? Or decline fervently?
I agree with whatever you pick.
Because you are beautiful,
and I will forgive you for anything, since you are my closest attachment to what makes me real.


Rarely do I forget,
even when I have seen blackouts mid-day.
You lead the way,
not like an X on a map,
but like a page to a book written on a desk.
You are that secret that I have found,
and nobody told me how to get there.
I made my own trail to you. And you accepted it.


So is this acceptable?
Will you stand for it?
Is the post simply a bother, because you don't want anything from anyone?
I wish you would stop and wait for my letter.
The romance in snail mail is dead.
And with it I have died in you as well.


Period.

Drawing shades. Becoming darker. Looking brighter. Pretend..

Normal, this is normal.

To be something you are not, to please because you want to be different. Or do you?

Don't you really just want to be normal?

Don't you really just want to tell everyone that you are the same as them?

Don't you just want to blend into the crowd and be ordinary?

If only it were that easy.

Label things,

make a schedule,

your location is here, the time is now.

But you look at your options and wonder:

     Is this really how I wanted to see the world?

     Or did I want to see something beautiful.

Because I expected it,

because you told me it could be true.

Because you were a liar and a cheat.

This isn't normal,

I am a machine and you are a fraud.

What are we doing?

Why can't we all just stop lying to each other.

I miss simpler times,

simpler people,

... when things weren't so dark and gritty.

Warm, black, bread

Like a glass city built by accident,
there are indentations in what I have to say.

Sometimes by chance,
I fall into something bigger than myself;
I discover greatness.

Perhaps it makes me feel less ordinary to explain to others that I do not really know what I'm doing,
because everyone else always pretends to be in control.
But they care too much.

Let the winds flow and take you,
because then you raise your arms silently,
teaching the world that you can resist gravity.

Things exist but if you can break the rules,
do you?
I say yes.
I have not yet heard your answer.

... Maybe it is better this way.

PENIS.

Alright, halfway there.
Because apparently I haven't written in red in a long time,
I thought it was that kind of time again. A mysterious one. One that eludes me. I miss this game.


"Yo why you tired at 5am bitch? You a big ol Vagina?"
"No man, been a long day. I just wanna rape people on DotA"
"Yo more like VAGINA DAY."
"aiiiiiite"
Who are these idiots I'm talking to?
Why can't I discern the difference between good and bad?


Is this why I want you so much?
To treat this as the final stretch to the start of something good-

Mistakes drawing slowly nearer

We are bridges,
suspended over uneasy waters,
bound to a shore we can no longer see.
Manipulating physics even though we're not entirely sure how,
we are children who learn to stand.
And slowly,
but surely,
we walk away from what we know,
with solid ground under our feet.

Stuck daydreaming, beautifully

The clouds hold a storm over this road...
You're dreaming...
Or at least you've got your eyes closed.

And you're suppressing your dormant love,

hibernating beneath a hardened coat.

Begging now, begging for air,

take one last silent breath, and sink under the water with me.

I'll pull back your hair and draw you,

draw you onto paper,

ever closer toward the window,

because I can see you,

and oh my god you're beautiful.

Do you wish to escape?
We've still got time...

In my mind this road runs straight,

but I can see you're scared,

unsure of where the bends will take you.

So then let me carry you home,

back home the long way,

we'll escape everything.

And maybe then, where I sit,

you can visit?

Or will you be with me the whole way,

holding my hand and steering which way,

because we're too good for radio.

... I should have just let it go,

a long long time ago.