I'm tired, and hungry

She said, as she leaned forward onto the counter.

Glazed eyes, she looked at nothing.

She asked a question.

It didn't make sense.

But did she care?

Probably not.

She is the product of creation,

Holder of knowledge,

She understands that a question isn't a question if nobody is listening.

She throws caution to the wind.

She inspires art,

She knows beauty.

Even if she doesn't think the image of herself is beautiful.

Reach deep, further into those empty pockets

I may not have money, but I've got heart.
Shouldn't that be enough to keep this from falling apart?

There's change rattling in the ghost town of my heart,
So vacant,
Wondering where it all went,
Now it's all my fault.
Not because I scared you away,
But because I'm the only one left to blame.

And you're the only one I want.
If I told you everything is old and creaking,
Wouldn't you come back?
Not even to help me destroy the home we used to grow in?

Burning all these bridges,
I'm left with nothing but extreme dissatisfaction.
And should I repent,
Try to hold what's left of this bridge up on my shoulders?
Or should I give it up in a beautiful goodbye,
Like pulling the trigger with your eyes closed.

Your hand in mine

Like the rambling of a madman,
I reach for you.

And I think it's not satisfactory to want what I cannot  have,
To me,
I am that animal who searches tirelessly for water and does not sleep,
because survival is necessary.

And shouldn't love be?

Why is it such a commodity,
that we spend at the expense of happiness,
especially the happiness of others?

Mustn't you know,
that a heart doesn't die when it is hurt,
but the beat sure does slow down,
to ease the pain of constant sorrow.

Trying to forget may be the single most selfish act of loving,
because you've given up a chance to experience something beautiful.
"If you truly love, you would be able to let go."
How about no.
Because you should fight for what you want most,
especially if it feels like a once in lifetime opportunity.

But I can only imagine being in this situation,
I can only hope for the day when perhaps,
we can stand-
Your hand in mine.

Doubles, not singles

Because two play at that game,

and playing alone would make me so lonely.

But I do.

Because this candlelit table seats more than just me,

and I'm looking at my watch, waiting for you, when they told me I should leave.

But I didn't.

And 

Because the tragedy lies in front of me,

and not behind, I should look both ways before I cross.

But I dare not.

Because you walked in,

and then quickly out.

But I did not stop you.

I am playing a losing game;

a game meant for doubles,

representing myself and only myself.

A player of singles,

enjoying a game of doubles.

on a trip down a road, driving out in the dark

finding what stupid things I've been missing,
in headlights,
coming across objects very far apart.

and the heartbeat is stronger now than ever,
making it very clear that we don't need to stop,  ever.

because I've made a mistake.
and not because of the mistakes I've made,
but because ill never find the truth in my mother's eyes.

the sound of static rushes through my ears,
and it makes it clear that the issues of mine are present;
right now, right here.

writing something, about here.

all my desires,
simplified.
all my plans,
compromised.

all of my dreams.
sacrificed.

so that I may end it.
right now, right here.

Down a road not compromised by fate.

There's grass that grows greener than the stuff on the other side

because the fence blocks what little I can see,

what I can want,

without actually being tempted to cross to the other side.

And while I stand here,

completely unafraid of temptation,

you stand there,

making me want to see more.

Would I feel like I'm treading water in an open sea,

to try and get to the place that I want to be,

which is there-

with you,

while I'm stuck on the other shore,

with the consequences of waiting here bore deep down in my heart.

Pray for the stars and the weather

Cause I can tell it's going to be another one of those black days.
And blowing in, are the garrisons of soldiers-
I call them hope.

Rolling in infront of the thunderstorms are the tanks. Unshakeable, impenetrable-
I call them doubt.

And who will win, man or machine?
I don't know.
I say why not both.

But some people laugh at this,
Because why start a war over just another black day, no matter how grim.

Won't tomorrow be better?

Is it a mistake to not grow old knowledgeable?

For even as I stand still in this day and age,

These nights are forever young and it's us who get older.

I don't need more friends to kill the time,

this boredom,

when the friends I have I already can't keep up with.

Please, be false that you've seen this.

Or else everything I've written must be erased,
for the sake of mutilation,
for the sake of preserving the peace,
for the sake of preventing indecency in the eyes of what may or may not be dear to you,
Or dear to me.

For there are few things in my life that I have wished would last forever,
And regret is not one of them.
And neither is shame.
And never would I wish for success at the expense of others.
For I have learned through error that forgiveness is paramount.

And who would I be to deny you that.
Not a man,
Not a king,
Not a god,
And definitely not someone you should aspire to love as I do you.

Entities Enticing Enticingly

Creating shame through the glory of our successes,
but all of our successes come at the expenses of other's failures.
Do we live with the guilt,
knowing that we inflicted pain unto others,
sundering the happiness from their arms,
to give it up later and blame it on misfortune?

Or do we rise above the cratered ground,
over the ashes of our fallen allies,
who we believed to be foes?

There is no understanding of guilt greater than the shame once we've felt it.
So are feelings greater than the pleasure of aesthetic?
I say we are driven by emotion. By a static force which is unbeknownst to us,
an unknown enigma, wrapped in gooey bacon.
Tempting, alluring, but constantly fearful of what I have not known,
for what I have not known is the greatest cause for what I have not done.

I wish to live a fuller life,
but not one full of disappointment and doubt.